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LETTER TO MY WIFE ON OUR ANNIVERSARY:
DEAR IN THE LAST YEAR I TRIED TO SEDUCE YOU 365 TIMES.
OF THOSE 365 TIMES:
120 TIMES IT WAS "THAT TIME OF THE MONTH"
151 TIMES YOU HAD A HEADACHE
42 TIMES YOU WERE TOO TIRED
3 TIMES YOU SAID I WAS `TOO TIRED
13 TIMES YOU SAID THE CH1LDREN MIGHT HEAR
5 TIMES YOU SAID THE NEIGHBORS MIGHT HEAR
10 TIMES YOU HAD A BACKACHE
2 TIMES YOU HAD A TOOTHACHE
1 TIME YOU WERE TOO DRUNK
2 TIMES YOU SAID I WAS TOO DRUNK
4 TIMES YOU SAID I WOULD MUSS YOUR HAIR
12 TIMES YOU SAID YES
OF THOSE 12 TIMES YOU SAID YES:
4 TIMES YOU WENT TO SLEEP
1 TIME I WENI' TO SLEEP WHILE YOU WERE SAYING YES
2 TIMES YOU CALLED OUT OTHER MEN'S NAMES
3 TIMES THE PHONE RANG (YOUR MOTHER)
1 TIME THEFE WAS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR
1 TIME I WAS SURE I HAD HURT YOU BECAUSE YOU MOVED.
THIS NEXT YEAR TRY TO DO BETTEII.
YOUR HUSBAND
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